Forum Message

Topic: Rapport and respect
Posted by: Alexei Kapterev
Date/Time: 28/07/2003 20:15:04

Dear John,

So far, one of the most serious issues for me in both NLP application and modeling remains the problem of establishing strong rapport. As far as I understand, I am unable to establish sufficiently strong rapport in situations where I demonstrate lack of acceptance, lack of respect to other people’s maps, their beliefs and values. In other words, I sometimes (too often, sadly) make negative judgments about people – which automatically prevents me from establishing rapport. The judgments I make are sometimes conscious (so I can deal with them consciously), but most of the time they are not. Therefore, I came with an idea of making an agreement with my unconscious. For a number of times I’ve tried the following: established “yes/no” signals, asked my unconscious whether it is ok to accept the person in question as he/she is – and got a mixed “yes/no” signal, with “yes” being stronger for people I really love and respect, and “no” for everyone else. I’ve tried different forms of the question to get around this but without any particular success. John, can you suggest something I can experiment with?

Many thanks,


Entire Thread

TopicDate PostedPosted By
Rapport and respect28/07/2003 20:15:04Alexei Kapterev
     Re:Rapport and respect28/07/2003 21:29:57John Schertzer
     Re:Rapport and respect29/07/2003 15:27:50Alexei Kapterev
          Re:Re:Rapport and respect30/07/2003 21:16:16John Schertzer

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