Hello Lager Thanks for the description - which, by the way, describes a frequently occurring set of experiences in many people. Gene's response contains an important distinction: the visual representations (faces), the auditory representations (voices) and the kinestheric responses you are making to these are a marvelous mix of your own creations (they are the result of heavily filtered mappings (f1 and f2) from the incidents of unsatisfactory communication and the actual incidents themselves - Gene is correct to point out that the parts to be reframed (if indeed, reframing is the appropriate response) are not the representation of the other people involved but is the part that has the intention of getting you to improve your relationships and communications with these people - a very positive intention. The problem is that the intention is positive and the strategy being employed by this part to get you to improve... is not effective and has become a problem in itself. Viewed from this perspective, you already know what the part is and what its positive intention is. What remains to be done is to work with the part to identify alternatives and effective ways for it to do its job (we are assuming that you recognize the value of such a part and want it to be effective). There are any number of ways to accomplish this depending on your style and the relationship you have developed with your unconscious. For example, you could (using involuntary signals) make a scheduling deal - that is, the part that normally has you obsessing about a failed (or less than optimal) interaction could be scheduled - each day at a specified time in a place suitable, you would make contact through the involuntary signal system and request that the part select, say, three, incidents that normally it would have had you obsess about. You put yourself in a clean 3rd position and review the incident (watching and listening with care) to what occurs. At the end of this review and in coordination with the constant improvement part through the involuntary signals, you would select three new responses and watch and listen to yourself doing each of them in the original context - when satified with each of the new choices, you would step into the actor's position and have the kinesthetics of the experience while seeing through your own eyes and hearing through your own ears the original situation however with the new choice being exercised - this is basically the New Behavior Generator. You might select a new code approach and simply follow the descriptions in Whispering to achieve a high performance state through a new code game and future pace the high performance state to the context you wish to improve in. These are two approaches, both of which will serve well. Jim R proposes a somewhat different approach - basically (with the uptime exercise) blow the part and its obsession away (temporarily). This is a physiologically based approach (as is the new code strategy) however it has little ecology and typically offers only a temporary relief - the trick is to convert the obsessing constant improvement part into an ally. Both of the approahces mentioned in this posting will achieve that. All the best, Carmen and John