Forum Message

Topic: Re:Re: moving people into change
Posted by: n
Date/Time: 22/10/2003 19:57:44

Hi, Jason.

You wrote,

(1) I agree that people should be helped to get what they "want"...and I question whether people really know what they really "want"

I might question the same, when:

(2) the stated means of the client is useless for achievement of his stated goal.

For example, suppose a client of mine approaches me, and asks:

(3) nj, my wife thinks I should spend more time with her, and I agree.  That's why I really want to develop my business into a massively successful enterprise..., so I can spend more time with my wife.

Maybe my friend is being rational in making his statement (3).  But, all other things being equal:

(4) my client will work on his business, and spend even less time with his wife.

Given (4), helping my client with the goal of developing his business, for the stated purpose of spending more time with his wife, might be contrary to my ethics - I don't know what my client really wants!  So I go through some kind of process to find out.

And that would be the critical thing for me to do, find out what my client wants.  He gave me two goals, one stated as a mean to achieve another.  I wouldn't assume that:

(5) the meta-goal (spending more time with his wife) is what my client really wants, or needs.

I would volunteer, though, that I think he won't spend more time with his wife if he's working more time on his business, and then ask him for feedback.  He would tell me:

(6) how working more on his business actually will help him spend more time with his wife
(7) what he meant by what he said, and, by doing so, give a new statement of a single goal
(8) that he agrees.

Responses (6), (7), and (8) would each require a different follow-up from me.  I'm not a therapist, so I don't know what the follow-up would be.

On the other hand, if my client (married or not), approached me and said:

(9) nj, I need help planning how to turn my business into a massively successful enterprise.

If I worked as a coach, as well as a therapist, I could just help him with the goal he expressed in (9).  I could help him plan, without suggesting particulars, how to turn his business into a successful enterprise.  I might coach him through:

(10) an outcome development process, with him supplying the content of the plan, the plan to achieve the outcome.


Entire Thread

TopicDate PostedPosted By
moving people into change20/10/2003 17:33:09Eric
     Re:moving people into change21/10/2003 03:05:19Todd
          Re:Re:moving people into change21/10/2003 04:02:19Eric
     Re:moving people into change21/10/2003 04:08:07Jim R
          Re: moving people into change22/10/2003 12:31:56Jason B
               Re:Re: moving people into change22/10/2003 13:02:06Eric
               Re:Re: moving people into change22/10/2003 19:57:44n
          Re:Re:moving people into change22/10/2003 17:15:58John Grinder
     Re:moving people into change21/10/2003 13:46:53John Schertzer
          Re:Re:moving people into change04/11/2003 09:24:24Mark MacLean

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