Dear John Thank you for sharing your memory from Tanzania. It touched my heart. I have no longer the same presuppositions or assumptions about high performance states. I also want to thank you for pointing out that the other advice by Robert, Pam and Jim was content advice. I did not make this distinction myself, only I thought about that advice in another way, where I had to make choices about which parts fit for me and which parts didn't. Robert, Jim and Pam, I am thankful for your concern. Robert, you were right in thinking that something in my perceptual positions has been wrong. Not so much over-specializing I think, as always having second position and first position disturbing the other two. I do not want to mourn in all three positions. Third is where I can retreat for moments of peace and see the situation from outside. I am so glad to have found that little freedom. In second I do not want to mourn. I want to understand. There are so many things I have been wrong about. Jim, in some ways I already have state management. I can still do my work and almost not think about what is happening during a long period of the day. But I think my problem has more been that I was to afraid and to hurt to feel my feelings. Which I suppose is statemanagement in another way. Pam, don't worry, I did not become upset by your comments. It was good that you started with disagreeing with previous post, because that made it clearer it was just two opinions, sets of suggestions. I think, even if there was many things that did not fit with my situation in the content suggestions, that they sparked some thoughts about some things which where good. Thank you, Sabine