Hi JS, You said, “Epistemologies are a long way from behavior,...”  Please, what does this mean? You said, “...and since as parents we are always working pretty much in the dark,...”  One of my points is that the epistemology that Carmen and John have proposed is (and has always been) implicit, in large part, in the NLP patterns.  How then can we be working pretty much in the dark when we have the ability to; calibrate, change state, explore perceptual positions, explore the intentions of our behaviour, and question the usefulness of our epistemologies?  Or are we working pretty much in the dark, as parents, because we have our eyes closed? You said, “...there will always be mistakes made, things we miss, and therefore changework will always be useful if not necessary,...”  Another of my points is that when we parents choose to operate from the epistemology that Carmen and John have proposed, and appreciate that modeling is how we and our children learn, then ‘change work’ will become ‘change ability’ and we and our children will be able to make changes where appropriate given feedback from the world.  Practitioners of formal ‘change work’ then, are behaving in an incongruent manner if they turn a blind eye to the obvious influences in childrens’ lives; the sources of shoddy epistemologies. You said, “It's becoming more and more fashionable in the US, for example, to do everything possible to make your children the very best they can be.”  If this be the case then we have a long, long way to go, do we not? I look forward to your thoughts. Thanks, Keith