hi guys, is this like an open party where anyone can join in, though I don't drink ... wine - who am I kidding, of course I do. John, I have had similar experiences of dread from loosing my identity, felt like I was going to loose all my marbles basically, and all grip of reality. I read some Castaneda, but it didn't really help, although it was nice to read that someone else had been having similar experiences. The funny thing is, at times I am in ego-less states which are totally without any of that anxiety. I cannot really offer any recommendations, but would sort of join you in your request for such. beast, Spike