Hi Jane I fear that I have little to offer here - there is a presupposition that runs very deeply in your descriptions and questions - namely, that your life has some mission and purpose and part of your task is to discover and pursue. Further, you seem to have arrived at the conclusion that there is some real or authentic you ("...doesn't always feel like my mission/who I really am."). I find both of these beliefs absurd although common in the extreme. You have, I will assume read my remarks on beliefs and their cost. Jane, suppose that instead of casting about to discover these things - who you are and what your mission/purpose is - you toss both notions into a local land fill and accept the responsibility that comes with deciding who (multiple who's actually) you will be today (something that places no constraints on the who's you may choose to be tomorrow) and what arbitrary objective you will pursue today (again - this does not constrain tomorrow). If you pursue this course (something close to Castenada's warrior), there are a couple of things I can suggest to you: 1. the liberating effect of such a transformation (the one I am suggesting to you to replace the two beliefs you presented through presupposition in your posting) is heady - I urge a systematic use of triple description as an integral part of this transformation - especially since it will be very unsettling to those close to you, something you will want to take into account in making the moves. 2. that as you select your sequence of careers and adventures, you set yourself minumum quality and competency standards - this is to avoid falling into the trap of being a dilettante. This requirement will ensure that whatever X's and Y's you pursue, you will master a significant portion of them. 3. After some success (however, you decide to define this tricky beast), and you seem to have already had some, deliberately select the X's and Y's of the next adventure so that you are choosing things that do NOT play to your already present strengths. Learning and doing some new X or Y that you already have many of the skills that are implied by it will be much less stimulating and interesting than choosing some S or Y in which you have zero background and as little natural ability as possible. This is the stretch principle at its best. 4. Cultivate the ability to distinguish between discomfort (in attempting new things) that is legitimate self-feedback that there is something inappropriate about what you are doing from simply the discomfort that all of us initially experience when we begin to act in entirely new adventures. Attend to the first and laugh about the second as you move with high spirits into the second. John  The response I am offering is not particularly comforting nor it is likely to be greeted with great enthusiasm by most of the people who you are associated with - it will guarentee a sequences of unbelievable adventure. I also recomment that you re-read the epistemology section and then consider what you originally wrote and how I responded - especially issues around the concept of truth. The world is what you create. John